CNN’s homepage right now. Thank you protesters across the US & the world. https://t.co/ItTqh7rL0Y
Just stormed out of “Cats” with my sons Bairon & Tannis because of how much the Judi Dench cat licks her own asshole. Once I’d understand, but she acts like the thing is a goddamn buffet. Tannis is still crying
ANTIFA: cool & good
How does 56 yr old Kamala Harris wear Chuck Taylors all the time? I’m 43 & if I wore them for 3 hours I would have to go to the emergency room. Are they hollowed out & filed with DARPA orthotic gel?
>80 million people live in Iran. I know many wonderful people from Iran. I don’t want 20 yr olds from Indiana to go there & kill civilians & kids & then get killed themselves. Imperial war is the darkest evil.
For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida.
I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life. https://t.co/Am2rlJpNoc
I am SICK. I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut & I’ll probably delete this, but Melania profaning the White House Rose Garden with her tasteless “redesign” is the final straw. I will no longer be voting Trump.
Just had my 2nd Pfizer dose! Had my 3rd Moderna on Friday and tomorrow I’ll get my 8th AstraZeneca. I’m in a great deal of pain & can “hear” my blood.
I appreciate that the GameStop stuff is “funny” to some of you but I had planned to buy my wife a (modest) boat for Valentine’s Day & now I can’t & I’m going to have to work up the courage to ask my dad to loan me the money. This was NOT on my 2021 bingo card.
🇺🇸It is my GOD GIVEN RIGHT as an American to contract the novel coronarivus at a CIGAR BAR and then starve to death as I try to study the HEIROGLYPHICS in the COBRA plan from my wife's old JOB to determine if I'm ALLOWED to go to the hospital for under $70,000.00🇺🇸
Knocked it out of the PARK in Chernobyl. Watching it I consciously thought, "Oh, we have a new movie star." Between that & how funny he was in Friday Night Dinner... just unreal talent. Rest in peace, Paul Ritter. https://t.co/nw8HnRZxRd
Here’s another tweet, you pieces of shit
when you see one of these MFs? You just KNOW it’s dinner time! 🤣 https://t.co/uJSRqjeMa3
Motherfucker I’m an immigrant & I turned a fucking cash hose on & sprayed it up the NHS’s ass the second my plane landed. Some of that £ paid the European & Asian nurses, midwives & doctors who treat my family & yours brilliantly. Fuck off 12 times immediately. twitter.com/susanmo5688370…..
My 9 year old who is doing remote learning just printed this out & I don’t know why https://t.co/luzZ8m4SPU
One time Jon Hamm was sitting in the booth next to me, but he had gained a lot of weight & was dresssed like shit & crying but then I realized it was just a mirror. twitter.com/JLewisland/sta…..
It is not possible for me to reply to every bereaved parent & sibling who has replied to this but please know I love you all & am grateful for all the help you give me & my family just by trudging along. ❤️ twitter.com/BBCr4today/sta…..
My wife wants to make love while the President has the freaking novel coronavirus! Nice try, psycho!
Hang on a second I have to go to the hospital in a helicopter
Can’t wait to get vaccinated and rail your aunt